Things That Men Wish Women Knew

Okay nicegirls, in an effort to help you understand us niceguys, we have been polling men everywhere to compile the NiceGirls.Org list of "Things Men Wish Women Knew."

While we can't guarantee that these are universal truths that apply to every man, it's a good start. As a further disclaimer, please be aware that this list is compiled from suggestions made by several individual men who do not claim to be experts in anything except their own opinions, and is unapologetically politically incorrect.

Men, we'd love to have your contributions and suggestions. The more help we can give NiceGirls, the better off we'll all be.

Also, to be honest, this is a bit of a cheat. We started with the list of Things That Men Wish Women Knew and wrote the opposites.

In no particular order...

Things that men wish women knew

• Treat us like you want to be treated
  Think about it, if you want us to be nice to you, be nice to us. Specifically...
  
  
• Don't badmouth us in public
  One would think that this is common sense, but it apparently isn't. If we overhear you talking about how, "all men are scum," why on earth would we want to ask you out? At one point I overheard a couple of women talking in a mall and one of them said this. I walked up and said, "That's okay. Women have no taste." and walked off.
  
  If men talked about women the way many of you talk about us, we'd never get dates. And with good reason.
  
  
• Don't talk about how "gorgeous" some other guy is
  Nice guys have been beaten down as much as you have and most of us are a bit insecure. If we're interested in you, but then hear you talking about how gorgeous the stud-muffin with the I.Q. of a kumquat you met down at the gym is, we're going to assume that's what you're looking for and not bother too ask you out.
  
  Similar to the "Don't badmouth us in public," how do you feel when you're around a guy who starts talking about "Check out the babe over there! Wow, does she have an AMAZING figure or what!" Are you going to want to go out with this jerk?
  
  
• "Potential" is a load of garbage
  We've heard you talk about how you "fell in love with him for his potential." Niceguys have a term for these guys. "Losers." Potential is the difference between what you could do and what you have done. Most niceguys don't have as much "potential" for the simple reason that we're actually using our abilities.
  
  On a related note, don't date guys who you need to "change." Those guys need to be changed for the same reasons that a baby's diaper needs to be changed. Put simply, it's not going to work.
  
  
• We like receiving compliments, too
  This is a good way to show that you're interested in us.
  
  
• We also like being touched
  See "We like compliments, too." On the other hand, if we're NOT interested, it's just as creepy for us as it is for you.
  
  
• Don't hint at us
  As a comedian once said, "men are genetically incapable of taking a hint." It's not that we're insensitive or trying to be jerks, we just don't communicate the same way. Unless proven otherwise the closest that you can get to hinting that we might understand is, "You know, this would be a really great weekend to go see a movie. Hint, hint."
  
  On the other hand you could just say "I'd really like to go see a movie this weekend."
  
  
• Tell us up front if you're dating someone
  If you're talking to a guy at a party, casually mention your boyfriend (if you have one) as soon as possible. You know how you feel when the guy you've been talking to for the past hour mentions his girlfriend? Same idea.
  
  
• "I'd like to call you sometime" = "I'd like to date you"
  This isn't always true, but it usually is. Even if we say "I'm not asking you on a date" we may just be covering our ass.
  
  
• Let us pay for the first date if we offer
  Unless it's really bad and you never want to have a second date.
  • On the other hand
    It's polite to offer to pay your share of the date, it makes us think that you're not a princess. But, once again, let us pay for the first date. After that, it's between you and the guy and what you're both comfortable with.

• We're as confused as you are about dating
  There are no rules. We get information that conflicts with all other information from our friends and parents and ex-girlfriends and female friends and movies...and bad dates. Have pity and if we do something stupid, tell us politely and give us a second chance. We gave you one in spite of your taste in clothes.
  
  
• Mixed signals are BAD
  We understand that "No means no." The problem is that some women will say "No"...then proceed to bump and grind against us or engage in hardcore sexual flirting. Don't tease the animals by sticking your arm in the cage...and if you do, don't complain when you get bit.
  
  One more thing, you can't retroactively change your mind. If you agree to something at the time, have the maturity to be honest and not blame the guy later.
  
  
• We like women who look like women
  This is NOT to say that we expect you to wear little pink crop-tops and short skirts all the time. This is to say that many of us don't like to see you in combat boots, gunney-sacks, or pants that could fit both of us together. (While that may be an interesting visual...) The only men's clothes that we want to see you in are ours. Seeing you in one of our shirts and your underwear is a major turn-on for most of us.

  And unless you have you have very fine features, most of us don't like really short hair. (And by "short" I mean "Number 2 guard on the sides" etc., not "just above the shoulders").
  
  

• Compliments
  We're a little too frustrated to be nice on this topic:
  1. I say "you look very pretty."
  2. You say, "Thank you." and smile.
  3. Either return the compliment or shut up.

  Responding with "I know." isn't half as cute as you think it is.

  If you say, "No, I don't," you think you're saying, "I'm being humble." We think you're saying, "You don't know what the hell you're talking about and your opinion is worthless."
  
  

• Don't fake it
  Ok...we're talking about sex now. Faking it isn't going to do either one of us any good in the long run. Trust good. Lying bad.
  
  
• In guy-speak, "cute" in regards to women is a good thing
  We've seen women go into full-body convulsions at this word. If we say you're cute, say "thank you," it's intended as a compliment. (See previous note on compliments.)
  
  
• In guy-speak, "cute" in regards to anything else pretty much doesn't exist
  We don't see things quite the same way you do. The only nouns I've ever heard a guy reference with the word "cute" with the same usage are women and kids. I have heard guys refer to women's outfits as "cute," but the outfit is likely to be skin-tight and/or see-through. The things that women describe as "cute" baffle us...houses, paintings, knick-knacks, baby-poop, whatever.
  
  
• Some of us have lots of female friends
  This is not usually a problem...especially with nice guys. While jerks are likely to sleep around, most nice guys won't.
  
  
• We don't want details about your sex-life with ex-boyfriends
  We don't like the thought that you've ever had sex with anyone else. Reminding us is a bad idea. By the way, this also applies when you start having sex with your next boyfriend after us. We don't want to think about, how we, how shall we say, "measure up."
  
  
• Intelligence is attractive to nice guys
  The pretty little airheads are nice to look at, but most nice guys would rather have someone who's cute and smart.

Send us your ideas for things that you find have helped.

Good Luck!!!

- "Mr. Nice Guy"