Things That Men Wish Women Knew
Okay nicegirls, in an effort to help you understand us niceguys,
we have been polling men everywhere to compile the NiceGirls.Org
list of "Things Men Wish Women Knew."
While we can't guarantee that these are universal truths that
apply to every man, it's a good start. As a further disclaimer,
please be aware that this list is compiled from suggestions made
by several individual men who do not claim to be experts in anything
except their own opinions, and is unapologetically politically
Men, we'd love to have your contributions
and suggestions. The more help we can give NiceGirls, the
better off we'll all be.
Also, to be honest, this is a bit of a cheat. We started with the
list of Things That Men Wish Women Knew and wrote the opposites.
In no particular order...
Things that men wish women knew
- Treat us like you want to be treated
Think about it, if you want us to be nice to you, be nice
to us. Specifically...
- Don't badmouth us in public
One would think that this is common sense, but it apparently
isn't. If we overhear you talking about how, "all men
are scum," why on earth would we want to ask you out?
At one point I overheard a couple of women talking in a mall
and one of them said this. I walked up and said, "That's
okay. Women have no taste." and walked off.
If men talked about women the way many of you talk about us,
we'd never get dates. And with good reason.
- Don't talk about how "gorgeous" some other guy is
Nice guys have been beaten down as much as you have and most
of us are a bit insecure. If we're interested in you, but then
hear you talking about how gorgeous the stud-muffin with the
I.Q. of a kumquat you met down at the gym is, we're going to
assume that's what you're looking for and not bother too ask
Similar to the "Don't badmouth us in public," how do
you feel when you're around a guy who starts talking about
"Check out the babe over there! Wow, does she have an
AMAZING figure or what!" Are you going to want to go out
with this jerk?
- "Potential" is a load of garbage
We've heard you talk about how you "fell in love with
him for his potential." Niceguys have a term for these
guys. "Losers." Potential is the difference between
what you could do and what you have done. Most
niceguys don't have as much "potential" for the simple
reason that we're actually using our abilities.
On a related note, don't date guys who you need to "change."
Those guys need to be changed for the same reasons that a baby's
diaper needs to be changed. Put simply, it's not going to work.
- We like receiving compliments, too
This is a good way to show that you're interested in us.
- We also like being touched
See "We like compliments, too." On the other hand, if
we're NOT interested, it's just as creepy for us as it is for
- Don't hint at us
As a comedian once said, "men are genetically incapable of
taking a hint." It's not that we're insensitive or trying
to be jerks, we just don't communicate the same way. Unless
proven otherwise the closest that you can get to hinting that
we might understand is, "You know, this would be a
really great weekend to go see a movie. Hint, hint."
On the other hand you could just say "I'd really like to go
see a movie this weekend."
- Tell us up front if you're dating someone
If you're talking to a guy at a party, casually mention your
boyfriend (if you have one) as soon as possible. You know how
you feel when the guy you've been talking to for the past hour
mentions his girlfriend? Same idea.
- "I'd like to call you sometime" = "I'd like to
This isn't always true, but it usually is. Even if we say "I'm
not asking you on a date" we may just be covering our
- Let us pay for the first date if we offer
Unless it's really bad and you never want to have a second
- On the other hand
It's polite to offer to pay your share of the date, it makes us
think that you're not a princess. But, once again, let us pay for
the first date. After that, it's between you and the guy and what
you're both comfortable with.
- We're as confused as you are about dating
There are no rules. We get information that conflicts with all
other information from our friends and parents and ex-girlfriends
and female friends and movies...and bad dates. Have pity and if
we do something stupid, tell us politely and give us a second
chance. We gave you one in spite of your taste in
- Mixed signals are BAD
We understand that "No means no." The problem is that
some women will say "No"...then proceed to bump and
grind against us or engage in hardcore sexual flirting. Don't
tease the animals by sticking your arm in the cage...and if you
do, don't complain when you get bit.
One more thing, you can't retroactively change your mind. If you
agree to something at the time, have the maturity to be honest
and not blame the guy later.
- We like women who look like women
This is NOT to say that we expect you to wear little pink crop-tops
and short skirts all the time. This is to say that many of us don't
like to see you in combat boots, gunney-sacks, or pants that could
fit both of us together. (While that may be an interesting visual...)
The only men's clothes that we want to see you in are ours.
Seeing you in one of our shirts and your underwear is a major turn-on
for most of us.
And unless you have you have very fine features, most of us don't
like really short hair. (And by "short" I mean "Number 2
guard on the sides" etc., not "just above the shoulders").
We're a little too frustrated to be nice on this topic:
- I say "you look very pretty."
- You say, "Thank you." and smile.
- Either return the compliment or shut up.
Responding with "I know." isn't half as cute as you think
If you say, "No, I don't," you think you're saying,
"I'm being humble." We think you're saying, "You
don't know what the hell you're talking about and your opinion
- Don't fake it
Ok...we're talking about sex now. Faking it isn't going to do
either one of us any good in the long run. Trust good. Lying
- In guy-speak, "cute" in regards to women
is a good thing
We've seen women go into full-body convulsions at this word.
If we say you're cute, say "thank you," it's intended
as a compliment. (See previous note on compliments.)
- In guy-speak, "cute" in regards to anything
else pretty much doesn't exist
We don't see things quite the same way you do. The only nouns I've
ever heard a guy reference with the word "cute" with the
same usage are women and kids. I have heard guys refer to women's
outfits as "cute," but the outfit is likely to be skin-tight
and/or see-through. The things that women describe as "cute"
baffle us...houses, paintings, knick-knacks, baby-poop, whatever.
- Some of us have lots of female friends
This is not usually a problem...especially with nice guys. While jerks
are likely to sleep around, most nice guys won't.
- We don't want details about your sex-life with ex-boyfriends
We don't like the thought that you've ever had sex with anyone else.
Reminding us is a bad idea. By the way, this also applies when you
start having sex with your next boyfriend after us. We don't want to
think about, how we, how shall we say, "measure up."
- Intelligence is attractive to nice guys
The pretty little airheads are nice to look at, but most nice
guys would rather have someone who's cute and smart.
Send us your ideas for things that you find have helped.
- "Mr. Nice Guy"