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It's the Adventures of Nice Young Man!

Not all NiceGuys are old. Heck, many of them can't even drive. I recently received the following from a 14-year-old. I think he's on the right track.

Would your advice work for a 14 year old boy? I am going to try it because I fit right in with some of the more common problems of a man. I will get back to you in a week or two.

I honestly don't know how well this is going to work for a 14 year old.

I can give you some advice that you are going to HATE: Start working on things now to be confident in and it will pay off eventually.

Find a sport or something that you're good in and do well in school and you'll feel good about yourself and that's probably the biggest thing. Another good option is to learn to play electric guitar or something along those lines.

Also, keep your eyes open for anyone who's interested in you, sometimes girls will say "'so-and-so' LIKES you!" about their friend who is right there...who will then deny it. Even if she denies it, it may be true. The next time there's a school dance, try asking her to dance. Or to the dance. You never know.

You're 14, this is a good time to try stuff. (I mean for dating, definitely NOT drinking, drugs or cigarettes...and by the way, I knew more virgins at 17 than I did at 14. The 17 year-olds just didn't lie as much.) Oh, before I forget, if you do find yourself in the situation, NiceGuys ALWAYS use condoms. A friend of mine lost his virginity two months ago at 21. He and his girlfriend thought she was safe, she went in for something else and found out that she has genital warts. This means he can't have sex without a condom again without risking spreading them to someone else since he may be a carrier.

Kinda sucks, don't it?

Unfortunately, at 14, most of the girls you're going to meet are probably going to be looking for "the best looking, most popular guy" they can possibly date. Most guys are looking for "the best looking, most popular girl" they can possibly date. Try dating someone who isn't quite as pretty, but is nicer and just take a chance. You're 14, and dating, not getting married. Would you rather be dating someone nice and fun and kinda cute or not dating at all?

Eventually, the good girls and women develop taste. Your job is to learn to be cool enough in the meantime that you can date them even before they get to that stage.

One last thing, it pretty much doesn't matter who you are, you ARE going to get turned down by some girls. It's stressful, it's upsetting, and it sucks. But it's also not that big a deal (although it sure feels like it). Just tell yourself, "her loss" and ask someone else. And remember, if you don't ask, she can't say "yes."

Good Luck!!!

- "Mr. Nice Guy"