Still a Virgin at 37...

Question:
I was wondering if you would cover the issue of whether it's o.k. to be a Virgin at 37?

Answer
There's a real simple answer to this...are you okay with being a virgin at 37?

If it's by choice for any reason, there's nothing wrong with it. Do you not believe in sex until marriage and haven't found the right person? If so, where you find her, she'll probably be a person who respects you for your discipline and self restraint. Many people of different religious backgrounds believe in "the sanctity of marriage" and, by their beliefs, not waiting is not cool.

If it's not by choice or not having had the opportunity, you need to figure out what's holding you back. Contrary to popular belief, if you sit at home and don't make the effort to get out and meet people, you may never going to find yourself in the situation. The saying "it will happen when you're not looking for it" only applies when you make sure that there's at least a chance of meeting someone. If you sit at home on your computer all day progamming and never go out, you're never going to get the chance.

And it's your own damn fault.

If you're meeting women, but not making a connection, then, once again, you need to figure out what you're doing wrong and change your behavior accordingly.

Do any of the items in The Program sound familiar?

If you're 37 and have never had the opportunity, then you need to do an honest evaluation of who you are, what you believe and what are your expectations. If you're 5'8", bald, weigh 280 pounds, and are an assitant fry chef at Micky-Dees, maybe you should re-evalute your chances of getting together with Nicole Kidman. Remember attraction is a two-way street. You can think someone is the most wonderful, beautiful, brilliant, sexy, caring person on the planet, but that doesn't mean that they're required to like you. At all.

Also, even if you're smart, funny, kind, etc., if you don't take care of yourself physically, you are going to have a much more difficult time meeting someone worthwhile. I've said it before and Ill say it again, there is nothing to lose and much to be gained by working out and getting in shape. It's sad, but true, without the outer-beauty, the inner-beauty doesn't cut it in the dating world. Luckily for us men, most women aren't quite as concerned with looks as we are.

Of course, as I type this, I'm drinking a rasberry-vanilla Italian soda.

Look at it this way, if you workout on a regular basis, not only are your chances to lose your virginity improved by improved attractiveness, you're chances to meet someone are improved, and how shall we say, your "performance" will be improved when you find someone.

Good Luck!!!

- "Mr. Nice Guy"